Especially different

When being different doesn't feel good

Many people feel like they are different. Not in the positive sense of special or unique, but rather in such a way that it seems exhausting. Too sensitive, too loud, too complicated, too much. Or exactly the opposite: too quiet, too slow, too little. Feeling especially different often does not mean standing out, but experiencing yourself out of place. Not being right, not belonging or always being a little bit wrong.

Being special as a burden

Those who experience themselves in this way often try to adapt and become less noticeable. Or, on the contrary, to work especially well to balance the feeling of being different. Both cost strength. Some retreat, others strive twice. Many wonder at some point why they feel so often foreign in groups, relationships or in everyday life, even though objectively everything seems fine.

Otherwise does not mean wrong

Being different does not automatically mean being wrong. Nor does it mean having to be extraordinary or having to do something special. Often it simply means that one’s own experience, feeling or thinking does not completely coincide with the environment. This is nothing unusual and, above all, nothing sick. Sometimes it is not man who does not fit into life, but life does not fit into man.

When you experience yourself negatively special

Many who perceive themselves as too much or too difficult have learned early on to look at themselves critically. They feel very well what others need or expect, but easily lose contact with themselves. This negative experience of otherness is often not a trait, but a result of adaptation. It is an attempt to cope in a certain environment. What made sense then often feels tight later on.

Normality is further than we think

What is considered normal is often more narrowly defined than corresponds to human experience. Feelings, reactions and needs that are outside this narrow norm are quickly problematized or evaluated. Diversity is the rule, not the exception. Different temperaments, resiliences, perceptions and rhythms are part of being human.

Another look can relieve the burden

Psychotherapeutic accompaniment is often about widening your gaze. Away from the question of what is wrong with me to the question of what I need in order to live more coherently. Not all otherness needs to be changed. Some things want to be understood, classified or protected. And some things simply need a different environment or other framework conditions.

Being less strange to yourself

When people begin not to immediately evaluate their own experience, something new often emerges. Not a sudden self-confidence, but a quieter, friendlier relationship with oneself. The feeling of no longer having to constantly work against yourself. No longer having to prove that you are actually quite normal. Maybe it's long ago.

Different is normal

Being especially different does not mean being extraordinary or difficult. It is said that there is something of its own that can be taken seriously. You don’t have to fit in to belong. You can find out where and how your own space has. This is often less spectacular than you think, but much more relieving.